Echoes of Expectation: Ethnicities Academic Curse

Immigrant Djoulde Bah recalls the high expectations placed on him throughout his upbringing, saying, "Failure was simply never an option for me growing up as one of the oldest of six other siblings in what is still to this day one of the most impoverished countries in the world." Over 70% of Guineans, according to UN statistics, are living in poverty.

Traditional Guinean norms are often similar to traditional, albeit antiquated, Western societal standards in that both cultures are deeply embedded in stereotypical gender roles, where men are expected to be the "breadwinners" and to have authority over the home, while women continue to be housewives and mothers while occasionally working jobs that do not require labour—the epitome of the typical nuclear family. 

But in Guinea, men are expected to get their lives together from as early as adolescence.

“You have this immense fear of being a failure constantly looming over you, it’s not even that I didn’t want to let myself down - I didn’t have time to reflect on myself, no matter what I didn’t want to disappoint my parents, especially knowing everything they have sacrificed for us”

Despite these disparities in gender standards, there appears to be some equality in the sense that both genders are expected to graduate from high school, college, and university with the best grades possible. Furthermore, ethnic parents frequently push their kids to major in STEM-related fields because they think these are the only academic paths that will lead to success, which is clearly a distorted perception .

“ Luckily, choosing my subjects was never an issue with my parents as I was always certain I wanted to pursue a degree in the STEM field.”

However, conflict erupted later down the line when Djoulde had told his father he was going to do an apprenticeship after completing college instead of going to university. To this day, he could remember the difficult conversation he had - one that was not supposed to be as complex as it had turned out to be.

Fidgeting with his fingers whilst bouncing his leg, the twenty two year old finally sat up from his bed, making his way downstairs. Just as he was about to enter the living room where his dad was occupied, he paused for a brief moment after opening the door just an inch, to see his dad getting his daily dose of news from France24 on tv. Turning back, he erratically paced through the corridor, trying to muster the courage to walk in. 

Any other person assessing this situation would think the poor grown man was preparing to admit he had been snorting drugs or that he had murdered a priest, with the level of nervousness he was experiencing. 

After having spent six excruciatingly long years at college due to the huge language barrier when first moving to the country plus facing learning difficulties like dyslexia, Djoulde’s mind had solely been fixated on the apprenticeship at this point.

“Spending that long in college whilst battling these struggles - I felt like I was going crazy towards the end of it - I needed immediate change, especially because I am a practical learner” he explained to his dad, who was not aware of what an apprenticeship was.

Audible silence immediately consumed the room soon after the words left his mouth. The young man's father's face dropped as he gave him a long piercing gaze that seemed to linger forever.

“Well, are you going to say something?” He asked his father, which he immediately regretted as the next sentence that escaped his mouth was 

"You can do so as long as you are not living under my roof.” His father went on to say.

Not wanting to provoke his father Ibrahim, the young man graciously excused himself from the situation.

Ibrahim lost both of his parents before he turned ten years old and was practically left to fend for himself, with no other close family members other than his older sister who had neglected him. Djoulde felt sympathy towards his fathers childhood but that was not an excuse for his father to make decisions for him or sabotage his future.

In short, Djoulde ended up spending another six years at university alongside an apprenticeship to satisfy both himself and his parents, which he believes was worth it as he graduated with a first class honours (in electrical engineering), and is the first in his family to do so.

Ethnic parents often fail to realise that their trauma and misfortune does not need to be generational and that they cannot always dictate the way their children live their lives because despite wanting what is right for them, it does not always mean they know what is best for them. Not to mention the mental health issues brought on by this controlling nature, which research has demonstrated by indicating that members of Black and Asian communities are more likely than members of other communities to experience a mental health condition, which is a problem that needs to be addressed more frequently.

To read more about Djoulde’s journey click the link below.

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